The Space Between- the DMB song?

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Photo Cred: L. Taylor


The Wilderness

The Threshold

The In-Between

Unknown Territory

Wilderness Wanderings

Rites of Passage

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The are many catchy phrases and terms to describe it.

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But before I get to all that, how about an update on my common iliac stent placement procedure?

After waiting, planning, and working around family visits, etc. I scheduled Friday, March 13th @7am

REALLLLLLLY long story made short.

A couple Saturdays ago, after the procedure had been scheduled, I enjoyed an hour-ish phone call with the IR doc, who treated me in Poland.

His recommendation, because of symptoms (heaviness/swelling/tightness) in my abdomen and right leg (in addition to my left leg), was further imaging to evaluate my abdomen and pelvis for additional compression/dilation abnormalities.

Why is everything looked at in an isolated way?

That question keeps haunting me.

Because I've been diagnosed with MS the vascular complaints are ignored?

I honestly have no idea. I don't want to make it about me or get on a soapbox about the conspiracy of it all...

Back to the story.

If Dr. S was going to treat me further, my husband and I talked about going back to Poland for imaging and the procedure. It seems like it would be easier (and maybe even cheaper).

First thought?

Hooray! Back to Poznań!!!!!

Then COVID-19 hit Italy and spun Europe into a tizzy.

OK.

Next option.

My husband and I discussed going to NYC to have the IR doc perform the procedure.

COVID-19 spreads to the USA...

What the?!?!?

The Monday after I talked the the IR doc, I called and left a voicemail requesting an order for MRV of the ABD/Pelv from the Tucson vascular surgeon.

His nurse left me a message early last week that he would not write the order.

Wait. Wait. Why?

Again, I have no idea and I didn't call to find out.

This was unsettling to my husband and I. He diagnosed me with compression of my common iliac vein...surely he wouldn't have an issue ordering more imaging...

I began praying that if I was not supposed to have him (the Tucson vascular surgeon) place the stent then it would be great if HE (God) could make it obvious....

The next morning (last Friday) I left my phone at home for about an hour. While I was gone, the Tucson vascular surgeon's office called, my husband answered, and my procedure was cancelled for a more "urgent case".

A week out?

Prayer answered?

My husband chose not to reschedule at that moment.

Today, I scheduled an MRV of the Abdomen/Pelvis for next Thursday afternoon with an order from my PCP.

And then...???

No idea.

More waiting.

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Speaking of waiting...

Not to switch topics suddenly as if I'm not that upset.

I am.

I just don't feel like I need to vomit all my feelings here at the moment.

I noted in a previous post that I would be writing more on the topic of "waiting" in an upcoming post.

What better time than now?!?!

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Another part of my rescue story had to do with the introduction to a word (and even more importantly, a person) that has changed me.

LIMINALITY

-Dictionary.com

-Merriam-Webster.com

-Wikipedia.org

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"Liminality is a place in between two states. It is the state of having left behind what is stable and familiar and structured yet moving into a threshold experience where what is yet to come is unknown and unsure. Liminality is a place of expectancy and hope coupled with chaos and disorientation."

This is an excerpt from Lori's thesis for her doctorate on the topic of Liminality and how we can approach "Liminal Space".

LIMINAL POSTURES: BEING FORMED IN THE IN-BETWEEN by Lori Taylor

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The person I eluded to above who stepped onto a page in my story is Lori Taylor.

I was floored by what she gave me to read after we talked the first time.

I had been feeling EXACTLY how she described herself when writing about her own liminal experience:

"When I came to a point where I had no language to define and verbally formulate what I was experiencing. I remember feeling doubly trapped, both by the circumstances pressing in on me and by my inability to define those circumstances."

ONCE AGAIN, God reached into my life to change the course.

Amen and Amen.

LIMINALITY

A name to the place I was/am in.

Some direction for what I can do while I'm here. I REALLY like plans...

A common human experience. More on that later.

Everything spoke so deeply to me. It was amazing.

Although it hasn't changed my circumstances, so many other things have.

Had the above story happened without having the language of liminality, it would have completely wrecked me. I would have tired to control things. I would have felt the need to make things happen as quickly as possible not fully thinking about all that was involved.

Oh wait, I've been there before.

Thank God I'm a quick learner.

After many months of great conversations and praying, Lori and I are teaming up for some pretty cool things. More to come on how we were introduced and some of the conversations that followed.

If you're interested, we started an Instagram page @life_in_liminality as well as a Facebook page Life in Liminality.

Apologies for not having links but trusting anyone who reads this has easy access to their IG and FB accounts :-)

Exciting things are happening.

Will keep post an update on the stent saga.

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Music Link anyone?

Spirit Lead Me-YouTube

Spirit Lead Me-Spotify

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-IronTina 💜

Oh yeah, you can follow my blog and receive updates when I post 😉

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